The Best Comparison of the Year 2008¡¦

Love Marriage

Arranged Marriage

Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set of functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Family system hangs because hardware (called Parents) is not responding.

Compatible with hardware(Parents).

You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

All these features are covered in the SRS (System Req. Specification) as required features.

Love Marriage is like Windows , beautiful n seductive.... Yet one never knows when it willcrash.... if crashes that's the end

Arranged Marriage is like Unix.... Boring n colorless... but still extremely reliablen robust.May crash but easy to recover

 

 

 

It was professor smith's first day at St. Johns medical college as a faculty. Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of 1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome   from the students, followed by their intro. To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class. He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me ask you a simple question on human anatomy". He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said, "Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original    size when excited?" Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female. I am    sorry, but I can't answer your, this question". Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around    the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could satisfy his query. This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead. Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye". The professor applauded for the boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said: "look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you your Expectations are too high!!!!!!!(10 times..........huh......MY GOD!!)

 


How to grow up a Child to make him Absolutely Charming, Soft-spoken, Sweet, Cute, Funny, Truthful & Extremely Intelligent   ????? 

 -
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-


Ask my Parents
   !!!!!  

 

            The woman in your life...very well expressed...


Tomorrow you may get a working woman,
but you should marry with these facts as well.

         Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
              Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
 you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
             much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than  you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
      because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while
when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
                           and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

               But not many guys understand this......

                       Please appreciate "HER"

                 
            I hope you will do....



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

21st century bride !!

 

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:

"My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family",

she said "Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don't want you all to change your way of life, your routine."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean dad is:

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn't stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son!

********

This is called bride from 21st
Century!!!!

 

~~~~~~~~

 

 

 


__,_._,___

 

 

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was
cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could
speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so
that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he
was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter
writing or sign
language.)

One day he met abeautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire
eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided
to refrain from speakingfor two whole years so that he could look at her
and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell
her that he loved her.

Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing
the total number of silent years to 5).But at the end of these five
years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited
ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of ! silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.
Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in
that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her
lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My
darling,I love you! Will you marry me?" And the princess tucked a strand
of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder,
and parting her ruby lips, said:

.

.

.

......come on, guess what could she have

.

.

.

.

.


said..............

.

.

.

.

.

.

...........well, she said..............

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Pardon. . . . ??"
 J

 

 


Hey Krishna !!! Tu is kalyug me aa kar to dikha?

Tune 18 saal ki umar me Mama Kans ko mara,
Bin Laden ko hath laga kar to dikha?

Tune pura parvat ek ungli par uthaya
Mere gym me aa kar ek dumbell utha ke to dikha?

Tune bhari mehfil me draupadi ko saree pehnai,
Mallika ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to dikha?

Tune gokul ki 16000 gopia saath me patai,
Meri Company  ki ek ladki pata kar to dikha?

Tune Arjun ko to Saari Geeta sunayee,
Mere Team Manager se baat kar ke to Dikha?

Tune to Arjun ka Sarathi banke Pandavon ko jitaaya

MUMBAI INDIANS Cricket team ka Coach ban ke IPL jitaake to dikha?

Hey Krishna !!! Tu is kalyug me aa kar to dikha!

 

Marriage and Men

 

- When a man decides to marry, it may be the last decision he'll ever make.

- Some men who speak with authority at work know enough to bow to a higher authority at home

- A dish towel will certainly wipe the contented look off a married man's face

- Love is the quest, marriage is the conquest, divorce is the inquest.

- An engagement is an urge on the verge of a merge.

- Marriage brings music to a man's life. He learns to play second fiddle.

- Getting married is one mistake every man should make.

- A well-informed man is one whose wife has just told him what she thinks of him.

- Courtship, unlike proper punctuation, is a period before a sentence.

- The argument you just won with your wife isn't over yet.

and lastly...... ......

- Before criticizing your wife's faults, you must remember it may have been these very defects which prevented her from gettting a better husband that the one she married!


 



This is based on statistics taken from: 15003 Software professionals from the

countries US, China, India, Japan, Pakistan, Mexico, Canada, Australia and

UK.

Total Software Companies: 980

The following is based only on statistical information and has nothing to do

with astrology, though the following proves that the theory of Sun Sign is

true to some extent.

*****************************************************

Aries - March 21 - April 19

The software professionals belonging to this sign are hard working and

sincere. Though they second the Taureans in hard work, they are intelligent in

their approach. They tend to display strong leadership, and their extroverted

and assertive natures let them lead the new cycle eagerly. They have humour

in their programming style and deepest concern for finishing a project. They

are dynamic and active, as befits the beginning of any project cycle. As long

as the boss gives them work and good salary, they are happy. If the

organization is not doing good, they are the first to know about it and they exit

immediately.

Taurus - April 20 - May 20

The most hard working people of all the signs. They are among the strongest

Signs when it comes to getting things done because of their reliable

persistence in moving toward completion of projects. On the other hand, they

can be very stubborn and argumentative. Though they are clumsy at their

work, they get it done. They show the deepest respect to their bosses but

hate them when they are ordered. They can work just on any platform and

language given small amount of learning time. They can withstand failure on

any projects but they undergo a little depression. They do not bother how the

organization is doing as long as they get good work and good salary.

They accommodate changes very easily.

Gemini - May 21 - June 21

These also flirt here. They talk more than what they know and form very bad

programmers. They are fascinated with gathering as much information as

possible, and their facility as communicators - both written and verbal - arises

from this need. They see the problem earlier than any other Sign can. They are

adaptable and able to tackle multiple tasks simultaneously, and they know

how to reason with people, but they may lack follow-through or seem

ungrateful. They tend to use management jargon with young people around

them. They feel jealous when somebody in their group knows more and

achieves more than them. They get their job done by hook or by crook. They

don't mind getting the work done through somebody and once they get it done

they claim the title. They show deep respect for people who help them. They

change jobs easily and they fare very well in interviews. Geminis cannot be

trusted for more than a year. They are very impractical and cannot get along

well with practical signs like Aries, Taurus.

Cancer - June 22 - July 22

The most emotional of all signs does posses the management skill more than

that of a programmer. They can manage projects and they have appreciation

for good software professionals. Though they themselves do not form good

software professionals, they motivate/demotivate their fellow people. They

can argue on any matter easily and win over it either through a practical

approach or emotionally. They play intelligently when given a task. They also,

like Gemini, get the work done through colleagues once they know they are

not capable. They are very honest and if they can't do a job they will tell you

straight in the face. They feel embarrassed when they feel they are unable to

do, when a colleague can do it easily. They are also jealous when they see

people growing around them. They try hard to be on par with everybody else.

They stay for a long time in a company only if they get more respect than what

they deserve.

Leo - July 23 - August 23

The creative software professionals. They know how what works and how to

get it done in the shortest time. They show their flamboyance in whatever

work they do. Though most Leos don't prefer Software, the ones that are in

would not like to be in it. They would prefer to be outside where they can

show other talents which they posses. Leos may be arrogant or egotistical,

but they are good organizers and tend to be popular and even inspiring. Leos

tend to be self-centered and more concerned with personal popularity rather

than group goals and sharing of ideas. Despite their tendency to patronizingly

interfere in others' plans, they are leaders, confident and dignified. Despite

their tendency toward bossiness, the natural leadership of people born under

Leo and their administrative prowess helps ensure that their projects are

successful. As leaders, Leos are decisive and direct, optimistic that they will

succeed. Sometimes they exaggerate problems and overreact to stumbling

blocks, but generally they are positive and their natural pride and the stubborn

streak keeps them from giving up. They can be demanding leaders, but they

are also generous. Leos could not be generalized as far as their personal

behavior goes. Its up to you to know whether they can be trusted.

Virgo - August 24 - September 22

Virgo, the sharing mind. They let out whatever they know to others. They

grow in a organization easily. Virgo brings their skills and talents together for

the good of others. Virgo are industrious and efficient when working for a good

cause. They are shy and nervous when they want to say something of

importance though. They are unable to demonstrate that they know. But they

are practical and logical, and they're skilled at seeing all sides of a situation.

Virgos tend to be about smaller-scale projects and individuals. They are very

good at understanding what people are saying beneath the surface words of

their communication. Detailed and precise, people born under Virgo tend to be

neat and exacting, but sometimes petty and overly fussy. At the other end of

the scale, some Virgos can be sloppy. They are reliable, practical, and diligent,

but they can sometimes seem picky or over-critical to people who aren't as

discriminating as they are.The don't tend to do well in projects that require

many interactions and people involvement. Though there are lot

contradictions, the summary is that they can be good at things that are small

given a lot of time for implementation. They may worry too much about small

details, and they can seem demanding and critical. Their nature and attention

to duty can seem like nit-picking pettiness if the people around them don't

understand Virgo's desire perfection.

Libra - September 23 - October 22

Best people to work with in large scale project activity. They form the best

middle level co-ordinators in projects and bring harmony amongst all. They try

to bring justice but can be persuaded by anybody to any side They don't have

a clear balance in what they do. But when they are given a schedule you can

be sure that a Libran will succeed in that. They are very demanding as far as

money goes. Its important that a Libran never gets bored, because if he is so,

he is out of everything. He will not do a single task when his mood is off.

Libra's intellectual orientation to the world around them makes them skilled at

communication and reasoning, and their intelligence combines with their

interest in other people to become an intellectual explorer of the people

around them. Because their efforts are mentally rather than emotionally

motivated, Librans tend to be very judicial; they are good at diplomacy and

compromise. Because they are generally reluctant to face confrontation,

people born under Libra learn to be persuasive, courteous, and adaptable. But

this may also make them seem cold and unemotional or manipulative They are

team workers, skilled at cooperative action, but they can also be self-doubting.

They are trustworthy for long times as long as they have a good working

atmosphere.

Scorpio - October 23 - November 21

The most intuitive software professionals. They do not like to be controlled by

others and often tend to be the bosses even if they aren't one. If things go

wrong they just quit. If a project doesn't seem to go well and they are in a

tight spot they just abscond and never come back. But if they make their mind

( 8% of the Scorpios they tend to be stubborn, refusing to give up when others

have long since gotten bored and abandoned a project, and getting things

done when no one else thought it possible. They have their own schedule and

they work on it. They are not adaptable to group situations and tend to be

what they are. They are very secretive in what ever they do. They are highly

revengeful and will strike when somebody steps in their way. But most

Scorpios are misunderstood. They try to know things around them and are the

first to be aware of the new technologies. They enjoy competition and they

never settle for something less then best. They are trustworthy as long as

they have work and happy and they have somebody in the management to

care of them. But when things go bad the Scorpios can never be trusted,

better to lay him off right away if you think he is playing bad.

Sagittarius - November 22 - December 21

The learned Software professional. They learn more than what is required in

this field and are the most adaptable folks. They really care little for any

project plans and know how to get it changed. Their main desire is freedom in

whatever they do. Given a free hand, they do best. They are less co-operative

in groups and tend to be very pushy. They talk too much before they think and

always fail at critical times. They are eager in getting things started and they

jump so quickly and if they fail they fail quickly too. They like one-to-one

challenges and are driven away by the group when they try blunt talk. They

come back to the group after a fight, sulking but needing. They have great

love for knowledge. They are trustworthy as long as they think that they are

learning in the current organization. They would go away in a flash if they feel

that they can learn more elsewhere.

Capricorn - December 22 - January 19

Capricorns are practical and over ambitious. The are down to earth when they

want to get things completed. They are practical, realistic, and cautious when

they schedule something. They have the highest determination for success,

they view each project as a block for their success and are less bothered

about the project itself. They can also be rigid and unforgiving when others

stand in their way. Their organizational ability combines with their diligence to

help them achieve, but they can be narrow-minded and over-critical of people

not as ambitious as they are. Capricorns would work hard and hard just for

their personal success and not for their satisfaction, which is just the

opposite in case of a Taurus. They are dependable and serious, never giving

up on their goals. Other people may see their ambition as domineering or a

reflection of egotism, but they are patient and purposeful when working

toward what they want. Sometimes they may be overly critical, even bossy,

but this is due to their strong desire to achieve their goals and not to a desire

to be rude.

Aquarius - January 20 - February 18

Hard working, and get things done just for the organization. They are very

good at group projects and form good co-ordinators. They can be opinionated,

and they work hard to bring their ideas to fruition, stubbornly refusing to give

up their causes. They get to know the technology around them and would

discuss with the people around. But since they stick to what ever they think is

right sometimes this makes them go away from the group and they keep aloof.

The are trustworthy and would stick on for a long time given the right kind of

people around them.

Pisces - February 19 - March 20

The people who are just meant to work only in group. They are selfless and do

it as you require. They most important thing to be put in them is the "focus"

since they get out doing something when they lose interest. All signs take

advantage of a Pisces for their work because they would like to make use of

his abilities. Though they are not intellectuals they are very broad minded.